Ocean Bug

2006-09-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

This and That, not much new.
Today we had a car and motorcycle show at work. Employees brought some beautiful cars and motorcycles to show. Since we have about 7,000 working here there are quite a few people who do that sort of thing. The proceeds from the car wash go to various charities in the area. The cool part about the fundraiser that the managers will wash your car for a donation. It fun to see them sweating and doing grunt work heh, heh. And they had a bbq with grilled burgers and hotdogs. There were also a few booths about different organizations that we donate to. There was music and raffles and fun! They do a lot of fun events for us here. On Friday they will have a Hispanic Culture day (Sept. 15th) outdoors, with food and mariachis and raffles etc, fun, I guess.
Not much new, we met Perry for a few beers and chicken wings downtown at a little beach bar yesterday after work. It seems that Perry paints ceramics for a friend of his who has a shop, she is an artist. Anyway he was telling us about these mushrooms she makes for your garden. They are small ceramic, glazed with all kinds of colors and spots and are very unique. So he got us a few of them for our garden outside. They are pretty novel, I must admit.
That is about it.

2006-09-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today, well actually last night, for some reason I think of things that would be interesting to blog about when I am not near a computer. Then when and I do have time, and I am on the computer, I am all blank… But this story I remembered and you will see why.

I was recalling a funeral that took place about this time of year, about 7 years ago, but the sadness and irony is still so freshly etched in my mind I can’t seem to shake it, even after all this time. It still makes me wonder about God’s Plan and why things happen the way they do.

I worked for a research and development corporation that did very, very secret stuff for the government. Which in itself would be a good story but I am not sure I should or could blog about that. (Leavenworth!)

There were about 30 of us in the office and we were like a big family. We shared our lives with each other marriages, children, holidays, birthdays and life in general. You have to know that the Scientists that worked here were VERY, VERY off the wall. This company recruited the brightest in the nation to work here. By the way I was their admin, not a scientist (of course).

I am not sure why, but many of these intellectually gifted folks had no social skills what so ever!! They were in their own world and some could barley function socially. It was kind of sad, because many were lonely and work was their entire existence.

There were a lot characters in that place, but this one focuses on one lonely man, we will call him Thomas. He had never had a girlfriend before, I am pretty sure he was a 34 yr old virgin. Thomas was by most standards, a nerd. He had the thick black glasses; he was about 40lbs overweight, physically out of shape and had a bad case of psoriasis. But he was such a gentle, caring, sweet, person who genuinely liked people. I had many conversations with him and enjoyed interacting with him, I wondered how the ugly world had not tainted him, why was he so pure and optimistic?? Yes, he was a Christian, but not a fanatic; he had luminescence about him that made him beautiful to those who took the time to listen to him.

Research at this company often collaborated with the local University. Thomas, through his research endeavors, had met a woman who worked at the University. We will call her Elaine; she was 36 yrs old and very brilliant as well. They seemed to be two of kind, two kindred souls who were meant to be together. They fell deeply in love and I had never seen Thomas so happy, ever!! He was glowing and alive like never before, he would go on and on about this lady and she became his everything. They got married after about a year together and started on a family the following year. She became pregnant with twins!! A boy and a girl, they were elated and grateful that God had bestowed such a blessing on them, not just for just each other but a family on the way.

We were all invited to the baby shower of course, and it was wonderful she got EVERYTHING you could imagine. She was also very close to her family who was with her all through the whole experience.

One day, 8.5 months into her pregnancy Elaine was with her sister and Mother at home. They were preparing to go out, Elaine went upstairs and told them she was going to get ready. After some time has past, they became concerned. Of course, they knew that being that pregnant meant that it would take a bit more time to get ready but, something was not right. They went upstairs to check on her and it appeared that she was napping. But she would not wake up, ever again.

The coroner had determined that she had a brain aneurism and died instantly. Their children were full term and would have survived, had they been found in time.

Thomas was at work when he got the call; it was devastating to say the least!!
The funeral was worse; they had delivered the deceased children and dressed them in their infant pink and blue sleepers, and placed them in the mother’s arms for all to see. They looked so perfect and peaceful, it was too much to bear to just be there, I cannot imagine how one human, could endure such pain. To have one’s hopes and dreams snatched away in an instant.

After his family was taken so cruelly, Thomas was never the same, he lost his naivety, but he also gained something.
As Thomas saw it, he had found the love of his life, if even only for a brief time and that made him a fortunate person, far more than most.

2006-08-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

It seemed that we lived in Arizona there was always something fun do outdoors. Like hiking, target shooting, camping or just mountain bikes. It was always easy to get away from the hustle and bustle and see nature. Here in California, it seems that those places are few and very far away. I guess I have not fully explored the options here for those activities that I enjoy. It seems to me that there are sooooo many people here that it is just such a hassle to go anywhere do anything.

The last frontier here is on the ocean. I think that is the ONLY place one can go to get some peace away from all these people. Since we do not own an ocean going boat, the ocean is not an easy place to escape on.
I am small town gal at heart and I really miss the solitude and peace of mind from living in a small town. I grew up in a small town and then I moved away to a larger city but not a huge, major city.

I miss just getting away from people, taking a quiet walk in the desert or the mountains. Yea, I used to complain that we had no big clubs or nice fancy restaurants or museums or attractions to visit. But really now that I live by all those things we don’t go to them much, they are always crowed and overpriced and usually disappointing. Which makes me believe that one should be grateful for what one has in life. Love where you are and the moment you are in.

2006-08-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

Back after a brief hiatus…. Went on a booze cruise for Perry’s Birthday last week. We left the harbor and cruised for a few hours on the ocean. We all ate and drank and had a blast. I took a week off of work and now I have to catch up here, so I am posting some pics of our booze cruise….

That was not really a cake, it was 12 pk of beer that we frosted to look like a cake. Ha, Ha... he was VERY surprised when he tried to cut into to it!!!

Here I am giving him a birthday kissee.

Here is the whole party of us all at the end of the day..... all of us very toasted!!

2006-07-21T14:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday, oh wait (scratch, scratch) I have multiple spider bites on me today. Nothing like that spider above, those are the camel spiders of IRAQ. eeew! (cringe)
Apparently a spider was sleeping with me in bed last night and he decided to dine on me at some point. I have about 5 quater sized red swollen welts in a trail going up my arm. We have to keep the windows open due to the crappy heat and us not having A/C and the spiders get in under the screens and doors. I find big ugly brown hairy spiders all the time we must kill at least 3 or more spiders a week. The open house for the spider will change very sooooooon. Because I do have a dream….my dream is to purchase one of those beautiful portable air conditioners ahhhh I can’t wait!!
In two weeks I will have the money to get the portable air conditioner. I have done all my research and found the best deal on the internet. Our house is so soggy and hot I can’t sleep well and we sweat all day long. Most houses in our area (southern California, A Beach City) do not have A/C. They say we don’t need air, but that is a big bunch of crap. Maybe 40 or 50 yrs ago they didn’t but we sure do now. I guess the earth is getting hotter due to global warming or whatever, I don’t care I am hot and grouchy!!

Other than bitching about the heat, nothing much new.
Plans for the weekend are to BBQ some meat and drink some cold brews. We are having Perry over for dinner on Saturday so I have to get to the store and buy some food tonight. I am thinking; keep it simple, steaks and baked potatoes. Keep the cooking outdoors. We will BBQ and hang out on the patio in the shade and put on some tunes and chat. Then maybe walk down the street and walk on the beach after dinner. Have a good weekend everyone!

2006-07-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

I work in a “cube farm” for a large corporate conglomeration.
A cube farm is an office filled with cubicles, a room full of people with thin, fabric covered walls between us.

I spend my days in a tiny cubicle that I call my own space for at least 9 hrs every day.
Not that bad except for there is that nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.

But the worst part of the whole deal is that we have very little privacy. One can hear every thing our co-workers are saying and doing. There is no such thing as a personal conversation here, which some people don’t seem to understand or care about. Or maybe they just THINK everyone cares about their personal problems

When I have a personal call I call them back if they called me or make my personal calls on my cell phone well away from everyone.

Today I had to hear all about my neighbor’s medical tests as he discussed the results with his doctor. I now know wayyy to much about his enlarged prostate.

Then there is the persistent cougher, who constantly has some mucus plug lodged in their throat. You hear them hacking away and coughing up fur balls all day long.

Then neighbor on the other side of me is a chatterbox who has to engage everyone in conversation with no point to it what-so-every. And she has to call her family members five times a day, sheesh. I have to hear what they ate for lunch and what they did all day long.
When people have to work this closely, they have a shorter fuse and tend to annoy each other more or tolerate each other less. Some days I am fine other days I just want to be alone. On those days, thank God for my IPOD.

2006-07-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

Well my older brother came to vacation in California and decided to stop by and visit me. I had not seen him for at least 3 years. He sort of disowned me when my hubby and I had hit a rough path and were not doing well. We had lost our jobs and we were struggling for a while. He is VERY responsible and never makes mistakes. Pays all his bills on time, perfect credit, always had a job his whole life. He owns several houses and had worked very hard at the same government job for over 30 yrs!! Noone could live up his lofty standards by any measure. I dreaded seeing him, we rent a home and yes, we tend to live payday to payday His wife is actually worse than him, she is a snob and enjoys gossip of any kind.

He calls up and invites us out to dinner, because it was my birthday last Sunday and he had not seen me quite sometime. He thought he would honor me by taking me to dinner.

They were vacationing with another couple and their 3 yr old child. They were doing the whole Disneyland, Universal Studios, San Diego thing. They have a child who is 10 yrs old and very, very spoiled, the kid calls all the shots in family. They wanted to come over to our place and then go to dinner.

I give them directions to my house, they over shot our house by a few blocks and end up at the ocean. Their kid takes off like a bat outta hell for the water as soon as they stop the car to call me. I thought it was hilarious, she is playing in waves and sand, soaking her jeans to her thighs. Now the kid does not want to go dinner in wet clothes. We ended up putting her dirty wet jean in the dryer and waiting till they were dry before we could all go to dinner.

We finally did go out to dinner and the kids behaved terribly, of course, glad that whole ordeal is over. Thank goodness they live 2 states away… Sad but true.

2006-07-18T14:27:00.000-07:00

I cannot go one more day without giving my friend “Walker” a big THANK YOU for making me this fabulous template for my blog!! He Truly is a remarkable man and I thank him from the bottom of my heart!!

2006-07-12T12:23:00.000-07:00

I have to wonder why the hell some people have to be so damn nasty.
I work for a large corporation and we have this “gang” of really nasty Administrative Assistants that are just mean and hateful to everyone.

For example today, I was purchasing water from a filtered source in my old area. The water out of the tap is nasty and yellow. They saw me, and approached, I knew they were bored and looking for trouble.

They said “didn’t you move to a different area?” and I said yes, I forgot my water today so I was getting water from here. And they go “it’s not for you. You sit somewhere else now.” “What are you even doing over here?”

Fact is, I still work with the people over there but I just moved to different area is all.
They remind me of a group of school yard bullies. I felt uneasy and embarrassed and upset because they were so rude to me. I guess I am overly sensitive sometimes. I had a good mind to tell their bosses how they behaved toward me but I will not be a petty little tattle tale. I have seen them behave rudly to their own bosses. They work in “Crystal Palace” (slang for the executive area) and are untouchable. There is noooo way the company or anyone else, with all the labor laws in place, could do anything to them after 25 year in service.

These employees have been in the company for over 25 years and they THNK they run the whole show. They are rude and mean and will not do any work that they don’t think is their job to do it. I wonder what made them so bitter. When I did admin work I do remember being treated like shit by some people, but not all people. But I am really nice to them, and respect them at all times. I think they are invaluable, we could not do with out their support.

I think they hate their jobs because they often do tasks that are sometimes thankless. Like ordering lunches and arranging travel, making copies among other things. I have seen their attitude when asked to book a meeting room. I guess, over the many years they have been the low man on the totem pole with the lowest pay but work just as hard as everyone else does, that I do empathize with. For whatever reason, now these have become bitter and hatful, asserting their dominance in any they can. Like you can’t dink of our faucet or you can’t use our copy machines. Don’t take post this wrong, my good friend is an admin here, and she is wonder and fun and a happy person. There are unhappy nasty people in every walk of life, these just happen to be admin and happen to enjoy pouncing on unsuspecting prey.

I say, if one is unhappy and nasty, please look at your life and make some changes so you don’t become a nasty, bitter old bitchy hag someday. You know those people you see them to….

2006-07-07T13:48:00.000-07:00

Not my story but absolutly hilarious!! What we women do to make ourselves beautiful....

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh.

Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DANG!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pops off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!! I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal, but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace... .....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!"

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color...... Now thats funny ........ Notttttttttt

2006-07-07T12:53:00.000-07:00

Summer is in full swing, been doing a lot of stuff.
We went to really nice block party for the 4th of July. They had alll kinds of games planned for both adults and children. Some houses on the block had goofy golf course holes they made up from scratch. Some were very creative and some were just cheesy as hell! We got score cards to play the 9 hole course, what a hoot. There was also a watermelon spitting contest, a tortilla throwing cotest and a water balloon toss. There were prizes, tickest to our local aquarium, lawn chairs and beach towels, stuff like that. And all the neighbors rolled their bbqs to the middle of the steet and all bbq together a big p0tluck fest. Ahhh good times, way too much sun and fun!! Gotta love summer time...

2006-07-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

Here's a graduation pic of stepdaughter and hubby and me!!

2006-07-07T12:33:00.000-07:00

STOLEN but fun... feel free to use it if you like.

1. In one sentence, explain what ended your last relationship:
Wrong guy, we fought constantly. Glad I found hubby we get along 99.9% of the time.

2. What made you smile today?
a hilarious re-post, author unkown, I will post it!! too funny.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8a.m.?
Getting ready for work, oops, slept in.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Reading Blogs

5. Something that happened to you in 1985?
Got married to my first husband (big mistake) too young and nieve.

6. Your prom night?
Went with a goober and had a horrible time. Then he tried to kiss me, yuck, it was a sympathy date, I felt sorry for him. My Mom talked me into it.

7. Last thing you said aloud?
"I will get this done for you right away!" (clearly it won’t done right away, be cuz I am bloging, hee hee)

8. Last thing someone else said aloud?
Here are the redlines

9. Whats on TV
No TV around

10. What was in the mail today?
bills

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
Two water and a diet rootbeer.

12. What is your favorite part of the day?
When work is done and I can go home.

13. Your current To-do list?
Return movies to blockbuster

14. Where is your best friend right now?
At work, my hubby.

15. What color is your toothbrush?
Purple

16. What is out your back door?
A patio and a herb garden.

17. Any plans for saturday night?
Party, like an animal (not really) no plans, probably watch movies.

18. Least favorite place to shop?
Local Grocery store, over-priced and crappy produce selection.

19. Last thing you bought?
Wine at Trader Joe’s

20. Last gift you received?
A leather jacket at Christmas

21. Funniest thing you heard all day?
No fun today… at work, it sucks

22. Favorite mug?
No mug, don’t drink coffee anymore

23. What color is your front door?
white

Spill Your Guts
1. First thing you did this morning?:
shower

2. Last thing you ate?:
yogurt

3. Is your cell phone a piece of crap?:
YESSSS, just got a new one and I am returning the piece of shit! (nokia 6040) going to get a razor or sliver. Screw the free phone, they suck.

4. What's something you look forward to most in the next 6 weeks?:
hmmm, can’t think of anything, might have to plan something, looks like I have no life.

5. What's annoying you right now?:
That I am tied and don’t feel like working but I have stuff that HAS to be done. No motivation today.

6. Do you believe in long-distance relationships?
No, they do not seem to work for anyone.

Questions and Answers

Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
My big brother, he is coming out here for vacation and wants to take me to dinner but I don’t really care to see him. He is a judgmental snob and I hate his fake wife. I have to figure out how to be "too busy" to see them.

Q: Where is the last place you went?
Bar at the local marina for happy hour drink yesterday.

Q: Who is the last person you called?
Cingular, to tell them my new phone was piece o shit.

Q: Do you look like your mom or dad?
not really

Q: Do you smile often
I guess... I like people for the most part.

Q: Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
I doubt it

Q: Do you wish on stars?
Not anymore, I think that I had to finally stop believing in magic things and wishes coming true.

Q: Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
Nope, just slip them on and keep them tied.

Q: What is the most disgusting food you've ever eaten?
Chicken Gizzards…. Yuckooo

Q: When did you last cry?
can’t remember, must have been some time ago. Maybe I don't want to remember.

Q: Do you like your handwriting?
nope, it is sloppy.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
Yes always.

Q: Are you keeping a secret from the world?
Yes, aren't we all??

Q: Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
My own bed, hardly slept, too hot and humid! I am going to have to break down and buy a portable air conditioner for this place we rent.

Q: What is the color of your bedsheets?
Tan with some printed pattern on it. Got new Egypian cotton sheets at the swap meet for a great deal!

Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?
Watching tv in bed.

2006-06-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

OMG... Been soooo busy.
In meeting from 7:00 am till 5:00 pm, then I have to start my work!

Quick entry to say hello and complain about the heat and humidity.

My Mantra

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!"

2006-06-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

I have been sooo busy…and I am PMSing. Right now I would not hesitate to crush, like an ant, anyone who crosses me.

My co worker already pissed me off first thing this morning. He is a LEAD not a manager and sometimes he over-steps his bounds. He tries to push me around all the time and act like Mr. Big Man. I let him have it this morning and he ran away to cube with his tail between his legs. (hee, hee) Never cross a woman who is cramping !!

Not a whole lot going on around here. We had ANOTHER pot luck at work. Sheesh…
We have at least one pot luck a month here and we all pig-out in the worst way. Not to mention all the birthday cakes it is not a place to be if you’re on a diet.

And now my friend Perry is having problems in managerial accounting class.
I am not going to volunteer to help him. He will start do depend on me to do his work and that is not exactly fair.
He has to give it his best try, I can help but I SWEAR I will NOT do the entire assignment for him again. It would be like me getting his degree for him.

Just a quick entry to vent and I will write more next week. Have a great weekend all!!

2006-06-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

Weekend was busy; Stepdaughters High School Graduation went off okay. It was held outside in the sweltering humid heat of the day, at 2:00 on the football field. It was only about 80 degrees, but it was humid as hell. We sat on cement bleachers and sweated throughout the hour long ceremony. Our nice clothes were soaked and we had to hike about a mile to get to the stands. I still have blisters on my feet, ugh… bad choice in footwear.

When I graduated, a long, long time ago things were a little different. Graduation was more formal and people dressed up, out of respect for the event. Not so with this school, I had a summer dress and heels on, I was soooo over dressed. Everyone else had cut-off shorts and tank tops. They came with air horns and ice chests, lounge chairs and umbrellas. It felt more like a football game or a day at the beach.

After the ceremony I was coerced in to attending a BBQ that I knew we are not really invited to. Which made me very uncomfortable? If we were invited they would have told us about it before the day of. I am sure the SIL (PP) was behind the whole plan. We did go and things were really tense. I made sure that we ate before the event and brought my own water to drink. I did not want to eat HER food or drink their booze, I did not want to party least I let my guard down. I had to remain sharp and ready for any possible attack. Everyone in the family was nice except PP, she was quiet and stayed indoors for most of the event. I made it a point to greet each family member very warmly with hugs except for SIL and her evil meat puppet husband, it was very noticeable. Then she made up some excuse that she had to leave early to go walk her dog. It seemed that my presence was more disturbing to her than she was to me. I found great power in that she could not stand to be around me, ha, ha. It was GREAT!!

I have decided to make sure I make an appearance at ALL major family events and holidays to just to piss her off… heh, heh.
I took pictures I will post them I have to upload them first…

2006-06-14T13:49:00.000-07:00

Continuation….

After one month we were both chomping at the bit to get out from under that roof and back on our own two feet. Both us left home as soon as we were 18 and had graduated from High School and did not relish the fact that we needed a leg up at that time.

In the end PP got worse, she was sullen and would hide in her room all day from us and when we did run into her in the house, we were met with uncomfortable silence and hateful sneers. We knew we would be leaving within the next couple of weeks, we just had to hold on a little longer. PP came into the kitchen one day while I was talking to MIL, I decided this had gone on long enough and I decided to approach her. She had on her usually scowl, full of discontentment pasted across her fully freckled face. Her fiery red hair pulled tightly back in a smooth, flawless ponytail, pulling her features back slightly. Giving her an even more, hateful and angry expression on her face. I spoke to her in a very calm tone, choosing my words carefully, I told her that we were family and that if I offended her, I was truly sorry. I said that I wanted to clear the air, and make peace in the house.

Hearing that was like a cattle prod against her ass, she violently threw her glass of fine Pinot noir, shattering it on the ceramic tile. She got right up in my face, thumping her long bony finger into my chest and said “The only way things will be okay around here is when YOU get the hell out of this house!” She was an inch from my face, shouting that I was NOT her family, I NEVER was and NEVER would be part of her family.

I had swallowed my pride and tried to do the right thing and she threw it my face. I really did not see it coming. I had come to her with my defenses down and my heart sincere. Her reaction caused me to feel angry, yet hurt. She was clearly trying to provoke a physical altercation, but I have learned to control my terrible temper by now. And I was taught that a lady does not ever go fist-i-cuffs with anyone.

It was the hardest thing to walk away; I had tears of rage and pain in my eyes. I was shaking and there were red flashes in my vision, which is what happens when I get really, really angry. Yet, my heart was heavy, I felt horrible and hurting inside, like a rejected child looking for approval and finding scorn. MIL ran out the back door right before I had approached PP and did not hear any part the conversation. I think she knows her daughter has emotional problems and she would rather bury head in the sand. My husband was dumbfounded but jumped in as soon as he could comprehend the situation and told her to back off. Which brought PP’s cowardly husband inside to see what was going on? We left the house to defuse the situation and spent that night in a hotel.

The last week was VERY uncomfortable, after which, we left that town and went South about 100 miles to start our own lives over again, that was 3 years ago. I have not seen nor heard from her since then. MIL speaks to my husband and I have had a few cordial words with MIL but nothing else.

Now we have to return for my stepdaughter’s HS graduation and I do not look forward to it. I wish I could avoid PP all together but it is MIL birthday and they will have a gathering at her house and I do not want my husband to be estranged from his Mother because of my ill feelings toward SIL. Step daughter lives in MIL’s house due to fact that her mother moved to Pennsylvania two yrs ago but Stepdaughter insisted on staying to finish high school. So she stayed and lives with MIL till her HS graduation.

There will no avoiding PP, and her hatful puppet spouse. I will just have to be the better person and take the high road. I just hope she does not start any trouble; I just might have to go off on her this time (verbally). The Graduation is Friday, I will write on Monday and let you al know how it went. Somehow, I feel stronger writing bout it.

2006-06-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

I am mentally gearing up for a weekend with the “INLAWS”

You know we all have obligatory family events we have to attend.
Actually the event is going to be wonderful and happy; it’s my step daughter’s high school graduation. It’s the hateful in-laws I dead having to associate with.

Background on the in-laws and how I came to dislike them so very much.

My husband and I hit a rough patch about three years ago. We both lost our jobs and were not fairing well in Arizona. We packed up and came to California. We had made arrangements to stay at MIL’s just until we could get on our feet. I was working a new job in 3 days, it took my husband a little longer but he was doing labor jobs till he could find something permanent. It is always very hard for me to accept any help at all. I hate having to depend on anyone, to me it is humiliating. We had no choice; we always paid for all our expenses and paid rent to MIL on top of groceries. Would have been fine except SIL (PP) is not well in head. PP is a mean vindictive psycho bitch. She hates me, because her mother says things like “you should get your degree like oceanbug” or “oceanbug really works hard” or anything like that. I am not special, but I am not lazy either, I have worked very hard for everything my whole life. PP would dig up any dirt she could on me and was always putting me down and calling names behind my back. I once over heard her slamming me, not knowing I could hear her in the other room. We stayed there for 6 weeks, it was 6 weeks in hell to me. PP and her spineless husband live with her Mom permanently. They do not want to shell out money for their own place because it is very expensive to live in Southern California. She likes to live in nice house with all the nice things her Mom has worked for her whole life. They are basically leaches but masquerade as martyrs, saying they help poor MIL with expenses. PP runs the house with an iron fist!! Everyone must fall in line as she says or else there is hell to pay!! One day I got my hair cut after work and came home an hour late. It was during the week and there no dinner plans for that evening. She mentioned she was heating up in some frozen fish sticks and fries for dinner. So no big deal, right??? Noooooooo way!! She marched right into our room and shrieking at us, sobbing hysterically because we did not call her and tell her I was getting my hair cut. My husband (her brother) held up his finger like this, to say, “slow down, stay calm and listen”

OMG she went ballistic!! She attacked him frantically swinging her puny little arms trying to pummel him!! It was very ugly and pathetic. It was then, that we realized that something was not quite right with the lady. She is 35 yrs old and no control over her emotions.

And the incident that topped it all was worse (to be continued tomorrow…)

2006-06-12T08:43:00.001-07:00

Tequila and Salt

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.

11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

And always remember....when life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!

2006-06-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow Bloggies…

I can finally write in my blog again. I was consumed by that statistics class that I was helping my friend with. By “helping” I mean I ended up finishing the course for him. He is attending an online university. Whew, I am glad that course is over. I never intended to do all the work but he begged me and I felt bad for him. This friend is actually a very interesting fellow he has done off-Broadway plays, he has appeared in People magazine and has many, many talents. He even owned a beautiful restaurant in New Orleans before Katrina wiped it out.

We will call him Perry. He is still getting over a really terrible thing that happened to him last year. Perry is a manger at a local restaurant/bar that we sometimes frequent. One day after his shift he went to a local watering hole where he sometimes goes. He knows the bartender at this bar and he feels comfortable there. On this particular night there were some rude people in the bar that had made some cruel comments to him because he is gay. Well, he ignored them, there are nasty people who just can live and let live. He ordered a drink and later went to the bathroom. He returned and finished his drink then started feeling really weird. He felt out of control and wasted on one drink; the bartender noticed and called a cab for him. That’s all he remembered till he woke up in intensive care in the hospital. Apparently someone called 911 and said there was a man who was either dead or dying in a pool of blood on the sidewalk. You have to know that these are the streets of LA; some people just don't want to get involved. The ambulance came and took Perry to the hospital, he had been brutalized and sodimized. His jaw was shattered, his shoulder bones broken, ribs busted, teeth knocked out, and he was beaten over the head till unconscious, and had a concussion. Someone had left him for dead!!

He is the nicest guy in the world, I love Perry, and he is so trusting and gentle he would give you the shirt off his back. He does not remember anything past feeling very strange after that drink, we suspect was spiked. He was traumatized by this brutal attack and is still not quite right in the head. I think it is horrible that a human would do something so savage to another. The police still have an on going investigation but no one seems to know anything. The bartender said he left alone in cab, and no one saw anyone go near his drink. But this bar is in the greater LA area and there are so many people here. What bothers him the most is he will never know exactly what happened…Perhaps the mind blocks out things that are too horrendous for the mind to comprehend?

2006-05-18T15:58:00.000-07:00

Have been soo busy lately, not only at work but a friend has asked me to help with some of his school work. But here is a quick post so I am still in the blog mode.

My Mom…. She would go any length to support her family. Which included traveling to remote places to see them play high school team sports? I remember one time, I was about nine years old, Mom, my Aunt Barbara and others were going to watch my cousin Frank play high school football in this little town about 60 miles away.

You have to know that I was born and raised in a small town in Arizona, population of about 7,000. We all piled in the green Galaxy 500, to travel to see Frank play. As I remember, it was a chilly November night and we drank hot chocolate and watched the game. The team was really quite good and probably won that game.

On the way home we were caravanning with another car, it was decided that we would take a rural short cut back to our town.
This old road that cut access miles of desolate land inhabited only by ranches and coyotes. My Mom was driving because my aunt did not drive too well and was not very confident.
I was about 10 years old and I riding in the middle, front seat.
While driving home through the cold back night. All of sudden in the headlights there appeared a large furry, black, silhouette with two ears. It was a giant cow!!
My Mom plowed into that cow head on…. The car behind us said they saw the cow fly up and over the car after we hit it. No one wore seat belt back in those days, which is pretty scary. There was fur and meat in wreckage of the smashed front end. Luckily cars in the 70’s were made like tanks. No one was hurt but everyone was plenty scared

2006-05-09T13:05:00.000-07:00

Do you believe in Ghosts?? I am not sure if I do or don't, but a very strange thing did happen to me, one that would not let me rest. It was 1985 I was just married to my fist husband (we will call him Jeb, we were divorced by 1987), he was big old county boy from Oklahoma. Jeb was a moose, 6’4”, blue eyes, brown hair and no smarter than a head of cabbage but very handsome. (More stories about Jeb later heh, heh) (Note: This was one guy, I am not taking any cheap shots at the good folks from Okalahoma)

Jeb insisted that we move into a trailer for a few months right after we got married, until we figured out where we were going to live permanently. This little tin can was parked in the boonies off the beaten path outside a small city near an army base in Arizona. Jeb was in the army at that time. Actually the land was incredibly beautiful, at the base of the Huachuca Mountain range it was lush and had a source or running water nearby. I love nature I grew up hiking the mountains and enjoying the outdoors. I figured living here could not be all that bad. I had just finished a semester at college and was taking a break. I did not have a job right away. When we first moved there, Jeb would have to get up at the crack of dawn to go to Physical Training then go to work after that. Leaving me home by myself all day long, with no transportation in the middle of nowhere. Most of the time it was still dark when jeb left, and I was still sleeping. That’s when it started…

I would get these vivid dreams, more like visions that were mostly the same every time. I would awaken in a cold sweat terrified and no where to go. Here is what I would see, there was some variation on the details that I saw each time but the events were always the same. I was watching over a Indian camp or village, they were going about their lives peacefully. Sitting by the fire, talking and making things. Then all of sudden violence would break out, horrible blood shed, like one would never want to imagine. Death and destruction, an ambush, an attack?!? I couldn’t tell, glimpses of drab colors attacking women and children slaughtered before my eyes. It was shocking and horrific. I would struggle to consciousness breathing hard, terror and sadness in my heart and I would cry. After I shook it off I would put on my running shoes and get the hell out there. I was a runner so I would go up the mountain, taking a small pack so I could stay gone most of the day. It was calming on the mountain I would see deer and rabbits and watch the peaceful steam flowing down the mountain.

I got a job as soon as I could so I would not be have to stay there alone, we moved out by the end of the year. To this day I have never had such a dream or experienced anything remotely close to that. I still don’t know what it was, perhaps a lingering presence or echo of an event that had taken place there so horrific even time could not erase the atrocity that taken place on that spot? Interestingly enough, we later found that there were lots of arrow heads and pottery shards if you dug around and looked for them all around that that area.

2006-05-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

A BIG Thank goes to out to my HERO... The Famous "Walker"!!

He fixed my template up and I love it, Thank You!!

If any of you have not been to his Blog then you are really missing out on great entertainment.

Stop on by.... Here

2006-05-05T10:21:00.000-07:00

The many paths that we have taken, all the dreams that we have chased, just to find a safe place.

Sometimes I feel like there is no such thing as contentment. We are constantly searching for better jobs, more money, and better futures for our children, or just our purpose in this life, but always seeking, never satisifed. It's exhausting...

I was thinking the other night, when was the last time I felt absolutely SAFE and CONTENT. I think it was when I was child in the arms of my Grandma. She would calm my deepest fears and sooth my spirit. I was named after her, but I am not nearly as good a human as she was. I used to call her Gramby.

Gramby was born circa 1920 the youngest of five; her father was a cold man, a drunk who abused her mother. They lived in a Hubble in an ally in a small town in Prescott, Arizona. Her father would spend most of his time gambling, drinking and womanizing. I think he was one of those macho Hispanic men who loved to party. Her mother was left home to fend for herself and her children. A kind business man, who owned a bakery nearby would help the mother. Giving them food and clothing and whatever they needed to survive. When Gramby was born she was not like her siblings, she was different. She had a special quality about her. And she was the love child of the Baker.

Her siblings had suspected as much and were very cruel to her. They would beat her and make her do the laborious chores they had to do in those days. This never made her bitter, I guess, she felt like it was her cross to bear. Her sisters and brothers turned out to be very selfish and very greedy as they grew into adulthood. In fact, one of her sisters died quite wealthy, she she commited suicide at the age of 45. But Gramby was unique; she remained full of peace and love through out her life. She married my Grandfather who was copper miner and they had four children one of which is my mother. Gramby was a humble soul who never worked outside the home, always had a spotless house, well groomed children and cooked three squares a day. Grampa always had bacon eggs bean and home mande torillas every morning, and dinner on the table by 5 o'cock. I remember how her melotic voice could be heard throught out the house, always singing a song or huming a happy tune as she went about the daily grind. She was a strong lady who never had to raise her voice to be heard, she was wise, moral and God fearing. She was always happy even when times were tough, always looking at the bright side of everything. She was a content soul…Rest in Peace Gramby.

2006-05-04T18:17:00.000-07:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

2006-05-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

Peel back the clock to 1990, when I tried to get out the bartending business. I took a job selling advertising for radio and television… whew. I lasted less than a year. If any of you have ever done that you know how hard it is to sell something intangible. If you can’t see it or hold it how the hell do you sell it?
You have to believe in it and make the your customers believe in it. You could say that I am a natural born sales person, I love people and I am very intuitive. When I was 5 yrs old I picked the ripe walnuts off our tree in the back yard, and filled a small sack with them. Then I went around to the neighbors and tried to sell them for a penny each. I was doing great, making a killing till my Mom discovered I was not in yard anymore and found me knocking on the neighbor’s doors. I got hauled home and spanked for sure. In those days it was safer, neighbors knew each other. Growing up I sold seeds, candles, candy, newspaper subscriptions (to the grit), magazine subscriptions anything I could. I think you get the point, I loved to sell things. Well in the adverting business you have to “smooze” your agencies and potential customers. The agency’s were easy just keep coming by and give them plenty of freebies and invites to the many free party’s or events and they will spend with you and your station. But the independents were more difficult, we had to convince the “mom and pop” place that if they spent their advertising budget with us they would increase their business, guaranteed!!

Well I could do that well enough but when I could see that they had not budgeted any advertising dollars and were just scraping by I would not pursue them (not good). I still remember why I got fired. I had sold a couple of 30 second spots during “Cheers” (remember that sitcom?) for the cheapest rates. The rates we give the big time rich agencies. I did it because they did not have much money and were scraping by and they money they had already spent with us and it was not working well. I got called into the sales manager’s office and she told me that I was not mean and ugly enough to sell advertising. And that we NEVER give the agency rates to small business people. You have to take them for every penny you can, they do not know market value of these spots.. I did not want to cheat people, I could not feel good doing that, so I want back went back to bartending, still seeking my niche in the world.

2006-05-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

Part 2
(continuation)

Already emotionally damaged by Jane I was desperate to get out from under her. The constant harassment was taking its’ toll on me. I would cry myself to sleep dreading work the next day. Never knowing if I was going to be the unlucky prey in the cross hairs of her site that day. I remember her telling me that I must not have learned anything in college or that I went to crappy University and got shitty degree. I cried and sobbed thinking maybe I was stupid, I thought I was smart, but clearly she is the boss and she knows. She would nick name us to, there were these two young women who had just graduated with BS degrees in business, they were the youngest on the team. Jane lovingly nick named them dumb and dumber. There was no way we could report Jane, we wanted to work at this company soo badly and we all needed these jobs, we feared repercussions if we reported her. Finally after a mandatory year of abuse I took a transfer to another program.

I took the first thing that came along, a lateral move to the a different type of job in the same company. I would need to be taught everything about this new position. I remember going to lunch with this wiser older lady who was retireing from that company. She had less than a year left when I got there and was stuck doing her last few months under Jane. She felt sorry for us but she was already hardened and mean She had survived there for 40 yrs, and she lived by the laws of the jungle eat or be eaten up and watch your back for the next knife. When I told her who I was going to work for (we will call him Fred) her face softened and she said “ Sorry to tell you this Kid, same church, different pew” I didn’t understand what she meant by that, I mean no one could be worse than Jane.

Off I went to my next position. Fred turned out to be a lazy, womanizing, insecure idiot with no patients. His team was a closed click, two of us were new on the team . He would actually curse us out when he got pissed off. None of the incumbent members were willing to teach us how to do anything because heaven forbid we might be smarter and take their jobs away from them. That old mentality “protect your job by not letting anyone know how you do it”. Well the other lady lasted 6 months before quitting and did file a grievance on Fred but left before anything would come of it. I had no where to go. Fred blamed me for everything and took every opportunity to use the FUCK word at the top of lungs when speaking to me. I finally told another manger and Fred lost his supervisor position, he got promoted downward. Higher pay, but one under his direct supervision. I had to leave that company shortly after that, I hated it there. Fortunately I now work at GREAT company, for a wonderful, intelligent supervisor. I am one the best employees she has, I get excellent performance reviews. It took a while to believe in myself again, I was pretty screwed up after Jane and Fred, I am still healing.

2006-05-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

Part 1

Dreams,
They say it’s our mind purging it's self, if not for dreams we would go mad.

No,I am not going to write details about my bizarre, often terrifying nightmares. Dreams are like blogs, in that we confront things or people from our past that were unsettling to us. In my last nightmare I had a whole theatre full of those ghouls from my past. Some that hurt or damaged me and some that I have inadvertently had inflicted hurt upon. The most prominent player in this theater was an old manager from my past, we will call her Jane.

It was the year of the new millennium, and I had just finished my MBA with honors. I was ready to answer the call of destiny and find a lucrative career with my new credentials.
A bachelors degree in Psychology does not get you very far in this world. I struggled for years working at least 2 jobs any given time. Sometimes I had multiple, part-time bar tending gigs or bartending by night and administrative assistant by day. Finally, I could look forward to working a single job that paid enough for me to eek out a decent living. I interviewed with a large aerospace corporation that engineered and manufactured missiles, and I as promptly hired. Hired into HELL that is...

My manager (alias) Jane was an abusive sadistic old bitch. Apparently she could not get anyone internal to work for her because her reputation had preceded her. She went out recruiting unsuspecting, eager people from outside the company. She built her army of had picked, intelligent, fresh faced, recruits for her business team. Once in place, it was a circus of horrors for all us and we were the animals being whipped and trained in our cages. She loved mostly to laugh and humiliate us, we were her constant source of entertainment. She had a small following that hung close to her, mostly out of fear. They would feed her ego and gossip about the rest of us. They would go over all our work with a fine toothed comb for ANY errors that they could persecute us for. All of us newbie’s knew nothing of new jobs and she would send out on assignments knowing that we would stumble in our quest. Then she would tell us how stupid we were when we failed. She literally brought us all to tears at one time or another. I think her behavior was the result of abuse and neglect throughout her childhood. But that was not an excuse for doing the emotional damage that she did to all of us.

I decided to get out of there before she completely destroyed all my confidence and self worth. But, I went from the frying pan into the fire. (to be continued)

2006-01-31T14:35:00.000-08:00

Perhaps I think way too much about the past, which is funny because I am not sentimental. I am not one of those who stow away little mementos of special events. I don’t save cards, flowers or programs, all garbage to me. The reason I don’t save things is that, at one time when I was kid about 12 I started keeping a diary. Well I found it when I was about 16 and I read it. It made me really sad to read about good times that had come and gone. Fleeting moments that we can never get back. Time goes on and the past is just that, the past.

But do you ever think back to why we are the way we are. I mean what events took place in our lives that made us who we are today. Some of us full of confidence, other full of you know what…. (kidding) We cannot deny that there are so many things that have happened to us in our past that have shaped who we are today and how we see things.

As small child in third grade, I was minding my own business walking along the playground and this friend of mine, stevie comes up to me and wants to play. Well I don’t feel like being messed with and I keep walking, he tackles me and pins me down with his knees on my shoulders. He hucks up a loogies and starts to slurp it up and down over my face and sucking it back up to his mouth just before it touches me. Taunting me while I scream and squirm but cannot get away, he is a boy and bigger and stronger. Then if that’s not enough he starts thumping on my chest with this fingers., I guess I just lost it. I saw red and went into this “hulk” like temper thing. I could only move my head, so I rose up and bit a chunk out of his chest. I don’t remember doing it only seeing blood and hearing him screaming him running to the office. Oh my God, I thought what did I do, I was so scared.
No one ever gave me a chance to tell my side of the story, they only saw that this girl bit a sizable chunk of flesh from this boy and was bleeding horribly. From then on I was ridiculed, called mad dog and kids shunned me, they would growl and bark at me. That my friends showed me life was not fair among other things.
past

2006-01-06T15:09:00.000-08:00

Sadly and full shame I return to my neglected Blog, my New year's resolution is to FIND time to blog no matter what is going on at work. Because I miss it and its fun. And I have thinking about all of my boggie buddies.

They say fate determines your relatives...Well as fate would have it, mine are all whacko. For example, I have a sister in-law who hates both me and my Hubby, we will call her P . P and her Husband (both over 30 yrs old) still sponge off of their parents and live at home. She loves to stir up trouble. We were staying there and we had errands to run, well she put some frozen fish sticks in the oven for dinner. We did not get back until about 7:00 pm. Well she went absolutely ballistic because she said we missed her dinner. She started crying and screaming and carrying on like it was the end of the world. Issue number 1, we never committed to having dinner with her, issue 2, call either of our cell phones ask, if you want to know when we might be home. That’s just the beginning… I feel sorry for her in a way because she is never content or at peace, she has to always stir up drama and crap.

I have a cousin who we will call F. She is just stone “nuts”. Recently she sent out letters to all relatives and in-laws that went something like this.

My Mother and Father are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary soon. Instead of having a celebration for them I am soliciting donations so we can treat them and buy then gifts. Please send your donations to me.

How tacky is that I ask you?? Wow ya can’t make that stuff up…And I know for a fact that my Aunt and Uncle did not know she sent those letters out nor will they receive any gifts. She is a grade A con artist. One time she put on a business suit and hung out at the local court house and would approach people that needed legal help telling them that she was a lawyer.
She also used to “help” elderly people, doing errands and cleaning their houses, stuff like that. But it was found out that she was stealing their checks and their jewelry. Many of these elderly people did not even know what they had. She has gone to jail numerous times. But always seems to get out and find another scam. Do any of you all have relatives from hell?

2005-12-05T14:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry I have had time to post a blog. I got moved in the cubilce right next to my boss!! I have to do a lot more work and a lot less blogging. Not that I blog during work time, heavens noooo.

Don't give up on me I will resume when it is safet to do so.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

2005-11-28T15:02:00.000-08:00

Just a little backround info on me.

When I was in my 20’s and struggling (as we all still do from time to time)
I held 2 jobs most of the time. I loved my freedom and was determined to make it on my own out in the world. My parents did not have any extra money, my Dad was Fireman and my Mom a teacher. Both noble professions, but not the highest paid jobs. And I had two brothers as well; I put myself through college with loans and work. When I graduated, there was no rush to my doorstep to hire me. What a let down that was, you’re lead to believe that if we go to college you will get a great job, HA! Not true, I found out that that there is a multitude of college graduates working in jobs that required no degree. I tended bar and waited tables while in school to make ends meet, which I continued to do for years after I graduated. The money was good and it was fun, I am a people person anyway. I really liked working in the food and beverage industry, I learned a lot about people, good and bad.

I was raised in a very sheltered environment and protected from most evil in the world. Small town (pop ~7,000) good wholesome hard working parents. I did not have much in the way of street smart at that time. I don’t have kids, I wish I did, I would definitely teach them some street smarts. And that not all people are good, unfortunately.

I did find my niche; finally, I have a 9 to 5er working for a large company, in a little cubicle each and every day. I will tell some good work stories very soon. It’s Monday after a long weekend and you know how hard it is to assemble any coherent thoughts.
I will try again tomorrow.

2005-11-22T13:36:00.000-08:00

We all have a time in our lives that we think back on and say “what the hell was I thinking?” Why did I make that choice that led me down that bad road?

For example when we leave the nest for the first time the world seems to have sooo many endless possibilities. And there are so many choices, we often choose what our parents would not choose just because it might be a lot less boring than our parents are to us. I think I did this just to see how the other half lived. Well it seemed that I had an affinity for that curiosity as you will see if you continue to read my blog.

My boyfriend in college for example was an abusive alcoholic. I met him at a bar, of course. Mother always told me “You can’t meet a good guy in a bar:” Which is totally wrong, because I have met people of the highest quality, some of the most wonderful, intelligent people I still know and love today at bars, but I digress. It was not the wrong place it was the person I chose that was wrong.

In those days (1982, I was 18) booze flowed freely for all us with the mighty fake ID. The best deal in town was FAC (Friday Afternoon Club) one price got you in the door ($3.00 for chicks and$ 5.00 for dudes) and all the beer, well drinks and wine you could drink form 1:00 to 5:00 PM. My buddies and I never missed FAC club, there we all were, at our table playing quarters and trying to put away as many pitchers of beer as we could. It was during one of this lovely afternoon that I met Scott. He seemed nice at the time, however as time went on he quickly became an abusive prick. I did see early signs of his quick temper which I chose to ignore. His favorite thing was to get wasted and try to kill me. Once he had me by the throat and was trying to chuck me over the railing of a 5 story dormitory. Another time he held me face down in the snow trying like to hell to suffocate me. Ohhh and there we more times that I care to recount that he would slap me or curse at me for no reason. Don’t get me wrong I am not a victim or a door mat, I was young and naïve and I had never been abused nor treated like that. The sad thing was that I would be all angry and confused thinking to myself I am dumping this big loser. Then the next day he would come to me all sad and weepy and apologize and say he was sorry, he loved me ect... And that he could hardly remember it and it would never happen again. THANK GOD I finally got tired of his lies and crap stopped forgiving him before he seriously hurt me. I was lucky and learned that lesson early, but I do know that there are woman out there that are being abused and lied to. And I do hope and pray that you will find the strength and resources to leave that abusive relationship.

2005-11-21T11:40:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about my friend Joan the other day. It was 1990, 25 yrs old, and single. We were drinking some cheap white wine at my apartment, sunbathing and relaxing on a Saturday afternoon. Well we ended up drinking about 10 bottles of wine between the two of us. And we were really, really drunk. Well I wanted to pass out but she wanted to go party more. I told her not to drive but to stay and crash on the couch. BUT noooooo she had to go and do whatever. She jammed out of there and went to pay phone at a convenience store to page a boyfriend or someone like that. Apparently she paged him and then sat in her open jeep (no top on it) to wait and listen for the pay phone to ring back. Then she passed out while waiting. This is where is gets bad, she told me that she woke up and someone had tuned her toward the door of the jeep and and pulled up her dress up and was having sex with her. She wanted to scream but she was terrified and still kind of drunk and groggy. This was really big dude, she kept her head and said hey this is really nice but lets go somewhere private and continue this, where do you live? He pointed to an apartment complex across the street. And she said okay, I will park over there and follow you.. As soon as he agreed and started to walk away she tore out of there like a bat out of hell..She returned to my apartment and was hysterical! Her purse was stolen and she could not even remember exactly where she was, or which convenience store was at!! She could not describe the guy and did not want to call the police. I did not know what to tell her. I calmed her down and she went to sleep. How horrible that a guy would steal her purse and have sex with an unconscious young girl. She never really got over this rape, she went down a bad path after that, drugs, wild sex, ect.